Friday, June 25, 2010

Fashionably out of date


-- Blogging off-season

No one, not even professional cyclists, rides the whole year round.

After all, you can’t race a season without a restful off-season. So it makes sense that someone who blogs on cycling matters must also take time away from the keyboard to let the scabs heal and rejuvenate.

However, further blunting blogging tendencies is the continuing feast of televised sport.

It started with the popular pay TV channel broadcasting Spring Classics highlights, often at times differing to those advertised; now the football World Cup is upon us; that big bicycle race in France starts quite soon; and The All Blacks have commenced falsifying expectations for next year's Rugby World Cup.

But it’s not just television that captures my attention. There’s internet porn and, just as arresting, email news of an attack dog and its deceitful owners menacing cyclists on the very route I ride three mornings a week.

The email below, from Greg Cross, was contained in a recent Counties Manukau Cycling Club news bulletin.

From:Greg Cross

Subject: Dangerous Pit Bull at Point England

To all my cycling mates

On Wednesday lunchtime my buddy Mark and I were attacked by a Pit Bull on Dunkirk Road out at Point England (the road by the park that takes you out to Panmure). The dog smashed into our bikes in full attack mode taking us both down resulting in a broken collar bone for Mark and lots of road rash and a broken bike for me.

The owner of the dog gave us a false name, address and phone number to avoid a visit from police and animal control. The people with the dog (who live in walking distance to the park) were a Maori male adult and 2 Maori women with a baby in a stroller.

The Pit Bull was tan in colour is extremely aggressive and is still out there. Please be careful on this road and if you see this dangerous dog and its owner please contact Animal Control immediately at 09 360 0750 or the Police

Please pass this message on to all your friends who cycle this route as I would hate to see this happen to anyone else.

Naturally, I hastily despatched a forwarded email to my cycling chums. Forewarned is forearmed, is it not? But then how does a cyclist prepare for an attack dog ambush?

I figure the scenario attaches risks similar to those posed by drunk drivers. You know they’re out there, but hope you don’t cross paths. But in the event you do, you hope the drunk driver hasn't confused the left hand side of the road with the right, or has driven off the road into a lamp post well before you meet.

Not being a cyclist who entertains avoidable risks, I consulted the popular search engine to explore attack dog preparedness.

Turns out there's a galaxy of options, and I refer you to this website for its fantastic product choices – from the animal loving pacifistic ultra sonic dog repeller, known as the Dog Chaser, to more combative mechanisms, such as stun batons (800,000 volts).

Buried in this impressive online product catalogue is dog repellent, but in my mind I’d much rather go for bear repellent – it possesses the same active ingredient: ultra hot pepper spray, but packs a much bigger spray range, which is important for people like me who have a poor aim.

Though, I must say meat loaf enthusiast and experienced user Brent Farwick puts forward a strong case for the dog repellent.

Dear TBO,

I ride a bicycle by choice. Unfortunately, the areas I usually ride through have an unusual number of large, aggressive, roaming dogs. The adrenaline rush I get from confronting and successfully intimidating these large animals is a bit much for a 54 year old guy. It just ruins my day. I've been concerned that sooner, or later, I would get mauled.

So I bought some muzzle spray from you. Today, on my ride home from a nice meatloaf dinner, a large black cur who never fails to charge me developed a sudden interest in running on 3 paws, while using his remaining paw to frantically swipe at his eye.

That wasn't good enough, so he quickly buried the side of his face in the dirt at the edge of the road. That didn't cut it, so it was a quick 3-legged dash/rub-rub into the yard to do some serious "face-sledding" on the grass.

The total delay from contact with that little pepper stream, to complete loss of interest in bicycles must have been on the order of 1/4 to 1/2 a second.

Thank You Sincerely for helping me avoid indigestion, as the meatloaf was truly delicious.

Thanks Again, Brent Farwick

Ride safe.

Yours in delicious meat loaf,

Lester