The great New Zealand cycleway

-- It won’t fix the economy, but it’s on the right track

The naysayers reckon New Zealand’s too wet, its people too old and too fat for a cycleway. But the givers of these views should first be tested for Coronation Street watchers, scoutmasters, and Atkins dieters, whose memories are rich with drive-throughs and hot grease and nights frantic with fancy creams doctoring cottage cheese thighs and wasp nests hanging from ham hock arms.

Questions:

Q: Will building a national cycleway fix the economy?
A: No it won’t. But if you think government spending is going to fix the economy then it’s time you got on a plane to Australia.

Q: Does New Zealand need a national cycleway?
A: Of course it does. 

Q: Will it attract more tourists?
A: Yes it will. Just ask hostellers on the Central Otago Rail Trail.

Q: Will New Zealanders use it?
A: Of course they will. We own 1.2 million bicycles. Cycling is New Zealand’s most popular activity pastime despite cyclists' fear of getting the bash. The ability to ride without traffic and driver intimidation will catapult cyclist numbers.

Q: Will a cycleway get cyclists pedaling the length of New Zealand?

A: In most cases it won't, just as motorists don't drive to Invercargill just because a road goes there. But the opportunity to access a safe cycling passage, or adventure, at various points the length of New Zealand is priceless.   

Q: Should New Zealand taxpayers fund first-class tickets to Australia for naysayers?

A: Yes they should (though with a little help from McDs and KFC, who benefit regardless).

Q: When I say naysayer, does it conjure an image of a fat person?

A: Of course it does.

Q: How many naysayers own bicycles?

A: None.

New lobby group fresh impetus for Auckland harbour bridge cycleway

-- Auckland City Councillor and cycling commentator Toni Millar likely patron

Dear Councillor

Long time cyclist and first time e-mailer, Raoul.

Firstly, happy New Year.

In writing I was hoping to appeal to your political instincts and interest in more efficient motorised travel along Auckland’s Tamaki Drive.

Last year on Campbell Live you expressed dissatisfaction with cyclist behaviour along the Waterfront and the extra time and trouble shoddy riding cost motorised road users.

Just because I’m an enthusiastic Tamaki Drive cyclist doesn’t mean I reject your concerns. Hell, everyone makes mistakes. Lord knows I’ve run my fair share of red lights and knocked down the occasional slow-walking pedestrian. Forgiveness is a great thing.

Anyway, you will be aware of the cycle lobby group Getacross, which failed to convince the Transport Agency to consider a Harbour Bridge cycleway.

But here’s a thought. In my mind, the opportunity to cycle across the Harbour Bridge is a cyclist draw card possessing attraction similar to Tamaki Drive. Both routes offer magnificent harbour views and provide cyclists with a route destination that defines their ride.

Surely, then, an Auckland Harbour Bridge cycleway will alleviate cycling congestion along Tamaki Drive. Afterall, a cyclist can’t be in two places at once.

With this in mind, I’m investigating the formation of a new lobby group (Auckland Regional Transport Authority calling Getacross a “dead horse” gives it a branding problem).

We’re still working on a name, but wondered if you’d consider being our patron. You are already part of the cycling conversation. Perhaps more importantly, becoming the figurehead of a pro-cycling group will help you to win back the goodwill of Auckland’s significant cycling community.

Please let me know.

Chopper Guard