Guy King: Tallying up Tamaki Drive cycling sins

-- Not happy: St Heliers/Glendowie Residents' Association member Guy King (pictured).

When a young female driver inexplicably accelerated through a stop sign into the midst of 20 or so Tamaki Drive cyclists, hospitalising four of them, one of whom remains in an induced coma fighting for life, Mr King said he didn’t know who was to blame for the crash.

Presumably, in the rush for a clipboard and one of those scout masterly idiotic clicking counters I suspect he used to capture, document, and then broadcast (albeit in print media) his evidence of Tamaki Drive Cyclist Sins (TDCS), sympathy for injured cyclists was the last thing on his mind.

“I have started counting and the biggest group has been 52 cyclists in one hit, riding three abreast," he said.

I was genuinely impressed by his powers of observation, knowing just how hard it is to accurately tally a marauding three-abreast bunch of cyclists.

Consider that many motorists struggle to see, let alone count, just one cyclist.

But Guy King is no ordinary contender. In the 10 years he’s spent escorting VIP visitors to New Zealand shores, he’s received a number of professional accolades for his professionalism and CARE.

However, as a self-professed former cyclist, it seems his care and professionalism is no longer extended to cyclists, who doubtless impede the progress of his preferred commuting style.

Perhaps during one of his Bentley parades, when cyclists overtook his cavalcade of waving dignitaries and VIPs, he was able to point a radar gun to measure the dangerously high speeds Tamaki Drive cyclists sometimes attain.

I have seen cyclists speeding, he said, frantically thumbing his Dignitary Personal Protection handbook for the right procedure.

Safety and discretion at all times please, Mr King.