Bringing decency to nude cycling

-- The cyclist’s merkin

Naked bicycle rider and natural athlete Nick Lowe has taken his case to the High Court in Wellington in a bid to overturn a conviction and $200 fine for offensive behaviour.

My initial reaction was, I suspect, like most others – c’mon people, sweat the big stuff. If he wants to ride in the buff then leave him to it.

However, comments later in the story made me wonder if there’s more to Mr Lowe than meets the eye and if, in fact, the complainant has every reason to object.

Lowe’s claims that he can exercise for about two hours before it gets too uncomfortable, at which point he uses “a lot more anti-chap cream than most,” isn’t the type of solo performance fellow competitors, or road users, should have to witness.

Rugby and league players might wonder what all the fuss is about, but to people who respect boundaries of reasonable taste and behaviour, there is no place in this country for sporting onanism.

My advice to Lowe is cover up.

And I’ve found just the thing.

The cyclist’s merkin.

Keep it hidden without losing that in the buff feeling.

There's more.

This merkin comes with a pivoting lamp for hands free illumination, and two blinking "lure" modes.

Just the thing for the sporting exhibitionist.