Cycling Sauce: Chopper Guard Bicycle Lovelies

-- November Sauce – The over achieving Australian glamour puss mountain biker chic

Australian mountain biker, graphic designer, model and artist Niki Gudex’s world championship mountain biking achievements are dwarfed by her expertly promoted sex appeal.

Nothing sells like sex, as they say. Just ask Oakley, Scott bikes, and Castelli cycling apparel, which were so taken by Niki's facets that they each appointed her as global brand ambassador.

Cycling Sauce: Chopper Guard Bicycle Lovelies

-- October Sauce – The Cykelkongen girl

Big ups to Danish online cyclery Cykelkongen, whose nautically themed latex mash-up is this month's clear winner.

The Google Monkeys in the department of translation services tell me the picture title is in fact the Danish translation of Beverly Hills Cop. Only, the English translation of their translation apparently reads Illegally cocky.

I’m unsure what to make of all this. And its relevance to online bicycle retailing remains a mystery. Nevertheless, this sort of detail shouldn't complicate our celebration of bicycle marketing excellence.

Chopper Guard photo caption competition

-- World Naked Bike Ride – San Fran: Mum, kids and the chariot of naked doom

One day poor little Johnny will look back on this day and smile.

But only after he’s been rehabilitated from his homeless years of self-harm and crack addiction induced by the shame and degradation of his mother’s naked whimsy.   

Post your picture caption ideas in the comments section.

Best caption receives a free copy of Chopper Guard’s Cycling Sauce 2010 calendar. 

Cycling Sauce: Chopper Guard Bicycle Lovelies

-- September Sauce – The Klein Bicycles Girl

Klein Bikes founder Gary Klein pioneered the oversized tube aluminium bicycle . In 1995 his company was purchased by Trek, who, according to industry gossip, plans to discontinue supporting Klein.

In the meantime, Gary’s shifted his focus to manufacturing an altogether different kind of oversized tube – the telescope.

This Klein enthusiast (above), enjoying a nice day at the beach, subtly evinces the joy of oversized tubing.

Another magic moment in sport

-- Somewhere near Auckland’s waterfront

Earlier today, Chopper Guard attended a top-secret waterfront photo shoot for the launch of a new fixie range.

Here I was expecting a despairing encounter with anxious creatives herding tattooed rabble more interested in bike bingo.

But, no. Hell no.

Finally, a manufacturer who gets it.

The secret to increasing bicycle sales is getting more chicks on bikes.

Chicks want to look hot (like this one) when they ride.

They won’t if they don’t.

And when hot chicks ride past pavement lubbers they'll want to ride bikes, too.

Simple.

Tell me the name of the manufacturer and be in to win Chopper Guard’s Cycle Sauce 2010 calendar.

Cycling Sauce: Chopper Guard Bicycle Lovelies

-- August Sauce – The Felt Bicycles Cruiser Girl

We should be thankful that Felt cycles founder Jim Felt, who made a name for himself in motocross as an ace mechanic, is now dedicated to the purer form of two wheels. Cruising, once the sordid domain of public toilets and fat necked scoutmasters, is now ripe for the hot embrace of mainstream cycling enthusiasts. Thanks Jim!

Cycling Sauce: Chopper Guard Bicycle Lovelies

-- July Sauce – The Kreitler Rollers Girl

Kreitler founder Al Kreitler was rarely seen without his Yorkie, named Killer, stuffed down the front of his shirt. Naturally, for a bloke who spent 40 years mostly alone in his workshop, Yorkie was the obvious choice to spearhead Al’s marketing strategy. Since Al’s passing in 2001, Kreitler marketing has turned over a new leaf and settled on an entirely different creature to promote the benefits of rollers. Woof!

Cycling Sauce: Chopper Guard Bicycle Lovelies

-- June Sauce – The Bianchi girl

June Cycling Sauce winner Bianchi makes it an Italian three-peat. Limar Helmets took out April; Wheelsbike owns May; and in a rather delightful act of community marketing 2.0, Bianchi sauces up June. Regimented branding guidelines are so 1995.

WheelsBike responds!

-- An email reply from Max Alberti, Wheelsbike

Dear Lester

Name of Testimonial is Melita Toniolo, famous due to an italian reality show.

You can search by yourself in google typewriting her name to get any kind of information.

Thanks for your contact and hop [sic] you will get eberything [sic] you are searching.

Bye, Max

Buon giorno from New Zealand

-- A letter to May Cycling Sauce winner WheelsBike

Dear WheelsBike

I am writing to tell you about your growing international reputation.

I am a member of a local Auckland New Zealand cycling club and each month we celebrate our favourite bicycle advertising. 

Our special interest is wheel-women (bicycle lovelies, as we call them) and I am pleased to tell you that your handiwork - the bella donna on your website - is the May winner. 

What is this lovely girl’s name? Are you still in contact with her? Where is she now? Were you at the photo-shoot? Did it drive new sales? Will you put all the photos on flickr? 

Also, we were hoping you could send us a poster, or cardboard cut-out, of your rather marvellous advertising girl. 

Please let me know and I'll send you our postage details. 

In the meantime, keep up the great work. 

Ci vidiamo.

Lester

Cycling Sauce: Chopper Guard Bicycle Lovelies

-- May Sauce – The WheelsBike girl

I’m a growing fan of Italian marketing best practice. Last month Italian helmet maker Limar turned Chopper Guard heads. This month our readers said a big to si si to Italian wheel maker WheelsBike. Why spend money on a fancy name when pictures say it so much better.

Limar Helmets responds!

-- Auto-responder

Thank you for contacting LIMAR helmets.

We will contact you very shortly.

Ciao

LIMAR - The Helmet Specialist

Buon giorno from New Zealand

-- A letter to April Cycling Sauce winner Limar Helmets

Hello there from New Zealand

I am writing to tell you about your growing international reputation. I contribute to a cycling blog called Chopper Guard and each month our readers nominate their favourite example of bicycle advertising. 

Our special interest is wheel-women (bicycle lovelies, as we call them) and we celebrate the winning nominations in a monthly posting called Cycling Sauce. I am pleased to tell you that your handiwork was chosen for April Cycling Sauce.

What is this lovely girl’s name? Are you still in contact with her? Where is she now? Were you at the photo-shoot? Did it drive new sales? Will you put all the photos on flickr?

Also, we are about to open a gentlemen’s bicycle club. One wall has been allocated to Chopper Guard bicycle lovelies. So we were hoping you could send us a poster, or magazine cover, of your rather marvellous advertising girls.

Please let me know and I'll send you our postage details.

In the meantime, keep up the great work.

Thanks and regards,

Lester

Cycling Sauce: Chopper Guard Bicycle Lovelies

-- April Sauce – The Limar Helmets girl

Hat head never looked so good. Italian manufacturer Limar – bringing elegance and subtle sexiness to the dull and boring world of helmet making.

Bonjour from New Zealand

-- A letter to March Cycling Sauce winner Cycles Laurent 

Hello there from New Zealand.

I am writing to tell you about your growing international reputation.

I contribute to a cycling blog called Chopper Guard and each month our readers nominate their favourite example of bicycle advertising.

Our special interest is wheel-women (bicycle lovelies, as we call them) and we celebrate the winning nominations in a monthly posting called Cycling Sauce.

I am pleased to tell you that your handiwork has been chosen for March Cycling Sauce.

The story accompanying the picture is, well, a fabrication, so we’d really appreciate the full background. What is this lovely girl’s name? Are you still in contact with her? Where is she now? Were you at the photo-shoot? Did it drive new sales? Will you put all the photos on flickr?

Also, we are about to open a gentlemen’s bicycle club. One wall has been allocated to Chopper Guard bicycle lovelies. So we were hoping you could send us a poster, or magazine cover, of your rather marvellous advertisement.

Please let me know and I'll send postage details. 

In the meantime, keep up the great work.

Vive la France!

Thanks and regards,

Lester

Cycling Sauce: Chopper Guard Bicycle Lovelies

-- March Sauce - The Cycles Laurent Girl 

I know, it's not yet March. But what's a few days between friends? Hat tip to third generation Paris cyclery Cycles Laurent.  Apparently Grandad is still in charge of marketing. Love your work, Papy.  This month's prize for spotlighting bicylce marketing excellence goes to Lunn Ave rider PM. A passed expiry date scroggin bar is on its way to you now.  

Vive la France!

Cycling Sauce: Chopper Guard Bicycle Lovelies

-- The readers have spoken. February Sauce – The Assos catalogue girl

I’m a big fan of Assos clobber. Topnotch and reassuringly expensive. Like most things Swiss. They certainly know how to knock-up a half decent catalogue, too. And all in the best possible taste.

A cherry Swiss cheese salute to Assos and their marketing department. Your fine work is appreciated.

Readers: Send me your recommendations for March Cycling Sauce. Let’s work together on this and give manufacturers the recognition they deserve.

Manufacturers: More than happy to accept direct submissions. But you’ll have to send me some of your clobber (I’m an Australasian XL, European XXXL). Can’t be celebrating your loveliness without quality testing your clobber. Leave your email address in the comments section and I’ll reply offline with delivery details.