-- It won’t fix the economy, but it’s on the right track
The naysayers reckon New Zealand’s too wet, its people too old and too fat for a cycleway. But the givers of these views should first be tested for Coronation Street watchers, scoutmasters, and Atkins dieters, whose memories are rich with drive-throughs and hot grease and nights frantic with fancy creams doctoring cottage cheese thighs and wasp nests hanging from ham hock arms.
Questions:
The naysayers reckon New Zealand’s too wet, its people too old and too fat for a cycleway. But the givers of these views should first be tested for Coronation Street watchers, scoutmasters, and Atkins dieters, whose memories are rich with drive-throughs and hot grease and nights frantic with fancy creams doctoring cottage cheese thighs and wasp nests hanging from ham hock arms.
Questions:
Q: Will building a national cycleway fix the economy?
A: No it won’t. But if you think government spending is going to fix the economy then it’s time you got on a plane to Australia.
Q: Does New Zealand need a national cycleway?
A: Of course it does.
Q: Will it attract more tourists?
A: Yes it will. Just ask hostellers on the Central Otago Rail Trail.
Q: Will New Zealanders use it?
A: Of course they will. We own 1.2 million bicycles. Cycling is New Zealand’s most popular activity pastime despite cyclists' fear of getting the bash. The ability to ride without traffic and driver intimidation will catapult cyclist numbers.
A: No it won’t. But if you think government spending is going to fix the economy then it’s time you got on a plane to Australia.
Q: Does New Zealand need a national cycleway?
A: Of course it does.
Q: Will it attract more tourists?
A: Yes it will. Just ask hostellers on the Central Otago Rail Trail.
Q: Will New Zealanders use it?
A: Of course they will. We own 1.2 million bicycles. Cycling is New Zealand’s most popular activity pastime despite cyclists' fear of getting the bash. The ability to ride without traffic and driver intimidation will catapult cyclist numbers.
Q: Will a cycleway get cyclists pedaling the length of New Zealand?
A: In most cases it won't, just as motorists don't drive to Invercargill just because a road goes there. But the opportunity to access a safe cycling passage, or adventure, at various points the length of New Zealand is priceless.
Q: Should New Zealand taxpayers fund first-class tickets to Australia for naysayers?
A: Yes they should (though with a little help from McDs and KFC, who benefit regardless).
Q: When I say naysayer, does it conjure an image of a fat person?
A: Of course it does.
Q: How many naysayers own bicycles?
A: None.
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