-- Boonen can’t say no to cocaine; Tour organisers can’t say no to Boonen
Dear Quick Step
Just a quick note congratulating you on Tom Boonen’s reinstatement to cycling’s showpiece, the Tour de France.
It’s a great credit to you and your fine legal representatives that you were able to fix Tom’s drug addiction so quickly and convince Tour organisers that nose candy shouldn't interfere with professional sport.
(I suspect that he doesn't actually engage in all that ghastly snorting - rather, he gets his fix with a handshake - works in has favour).
Finally, cycling is coming around to what baseball has known for years: sporting integrity is so last century.
Yours in fondness and admiration.
Lester
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7 comments:
Why so down on Boonen chopper?
He has a weakness. But it's not for being a lying cheating weasel-spined EPO abuser. It's for beer, frauleins and good times.
He in's the tour. Vive la tour.
Jesus chopper, even Obama enjoy a recreational drugs in his day.
He's a fuckin legend. Lay off our i'll have you.
You sound like a presperterian pensioner chopper. Get off your soap box.
I have it on good authority that you used to drink enough Waikato lager to tranquilize a horse. Yet you still cycle competitively?
Following in the footsteps of the late Marco Pantani of Italy. If he’s willing to take recreational drugs, is he willing to get on another program?
How did you know I was Presbyterian? I can forgive sin. And even mild stimulants, just as long as they come from the cup of Holy Communion. But cocaine by secret handshake - a sure passage to eternal damnation! As for all that Waikato lager. Well, remember it has been cleansed by eight sets of kidneys before being bottled. God Bless the Waikato River, New Zealand’s own River Ganges. Now, stayed tuned for Quick-Step’s reply. I have issued a follow-up request for an urgent response reassuring the sporting public that Boonen will abstain from all handshaking.
Or perhaps the traces of cocaine were transfered via a can Redbull after a hellish night out on the sauce.
Once, I drank Redbull after a hellish night on Waikato lager and tested positive for syphilis! My demands for a full product recall were ignored. Bastards.
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