Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Specialized responds!



















-- An email reply from Cody, Specialized Customer Service/Online Store, 1137 South 3800 West, Salt Lake City UT 84104. 877-808-8154

Lester,

Thanks for the e-mail and the support.

I have forwarded your e-mail on to the appropriate dept.

Thanks

Cody

Specialized cocaine help



















-- A letter to Specialized: store_customerservice@specialized.com

Dear Specialized

I am writing to tell you that I think Tom Boonen might be addicted to drugs and needs urgent help.

I know right now that Team Quick-Step is "working closely with team sponsors” (that's you), but could you also please help Tom.

His lawyer Luc Deleu says Tom is wise and aware of the consequences.

So I figure Tom’s second cocaine bust in 12 months means that his dependency has addled his capacity rational thought.

Like, he knew the consequences but did it anyway.

I think this is called drug addiction.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m a big fan of Tom's despite his repeated suspensions for cocaine use. Hell, I even ride Specialized.

(And I have to say that Tom’s recent Paris Roubaix victory seems all the more impressive now knowing that his system was clogged with cocaine residue – a known cardiovascular inhibitor. Imagine how much he’d have won by if he rode clean).

Please do your best to clean up Tom.

Yours in fondness and diminishing admiration.

Lester

Sunday, May 10, 2009

WheelsBike responds!



















-- An email reply from Max Alberti, Wheelsbike

Dear Lester

Name of Testimonial is Melita Toniolo, famous due to an italian reality show.

You can search by yourself in google typewriting her name to get any kind of information.

Thanks for your contact and hop [sic] you will get eberything [sic] you are searching.

Bye, Max

Buon giorno from New Zealand








-- A letter to May Cycling Sauce winner WheelsBike

Dear WheelsBike

I am writing to tell you about your growing international reputation.

I am a member of a local Auckland New Zealand cycling club and each month we celebrate our favourite bicycle advertising. 

Our special interest is wheel-women (bicycle lovelies, as we call them) and I am pleased to tell you that your handiwork - the bella donna on your website - is the May winner. 

What is this lovely girl’s name? Are you still in contact with her? Where is she now? Were you at the photo-shoot? Did it drive new sales? Will you put all the photos on flickr? 

Also, we were hoping you could send us a poster, or cardboard cut-out, of your rather marvellous advertising girl. 

Please let me know and I'll send you our postage details. 

In the meantime, keep up the great work. 

Ci vidiamo.

Lester

Rehabilitating Boonen


















-- Letter to Quick-Step


Dear Quick-Step

I am writing to tell you that I think Tom Boonen might be addicted to drugs and needs urgent help.

I understand right now Team Quick-Step is "working closely with team sponsors” (that's you), but could you also please help Tom.

His lawyer Luc Deleu says Tom is wise and aware of the consequences.

So I figure Tom’s second cocaine bust in 12 months means that his dependency has addled his capacity rational thought.

Like, he knew the consequences but did it anyway.

I think this is called drug addiction.

Don’t get me wrong – I’m a big fan of Tom's despite his repeated suspensions for cocaine use.

(And I have to say that Tom’s recent Paris Roubaix victory seems all the more impressive now knowing that his system was clogged with cocaine residue – a known cardiovascular inhibitor. Imagine how much he’d have won by if he rode clean).

Please do your best to clean up Tom.

Yours in fondness and diminishing admiration.

Lester